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Our Reasons

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In the last few weeks my family’s life has literally been turned on it’s head…a devastating diagnosis for a beloved family member, trips to another state for the start of treatments and extended amounts of time spent away from my family while I spend time caring for and being with someone who is very important to me.  All the while I find myself juggling my schedule, continuing to work full time as a nurse, and trying my best to be a good wife, mother, twin, daughter, and aunt…
Needless to say, my emotions have been running high. With each day that passes, a new bit of information has begged to be absorbed by my already overflowing mind, and with it, my spirit and faith have been tested.  All the while, I have been reminded by those who love me to….relax, to take some time, to remember to take care of myself.

But I didn’t (of course not)  and it got the best of me.  I became withdrawn even further into myself and in the process I left my little blog (that was so very important to me) out in the cold…abandoned in cyberspace.

You see, it is hard to return to a place that has become such a huge part of who you are…when you are feeling anything BUT yourself.

A week ago I awoke with a start at 4 in the morning… I was gasping for air and there were tears streaming down my barely-awake-cheeks.   It was then that I realized that my soul was famished.  Apparently, I had been starving myself of hope and faith.

(Sorrow is a selfish wench…If you don’t keep her in check, she has a tendency to choke out all of the good.)

Sitting there in bed with my little boy snuggled at my side, I became acutely aware of what it was that I needed to do.

I needed to reconnect with myself, so that I might be more help to those who REALLY need me.  I knew that blogging was a part of that reconnection to myself, as it was something that I enjoy so much and use as not only a place to share, but also the only place that I write for me.  I just couldn’t keep up the pace of posting to which I had been.
I needed to make a point of finding the space to exhale every single day.

And that is what this space is to me.  A place to share with one of my dearest of friends who is going through her own life changes. Where I can look back on this coming year with all of it’s hardships and heartache and uncertainties and know that there was calm in the midst of chaos.

If you don’t know me and would like a little back story, I would love it if you visited me in my other space…..

Adirondack Mama



9 months ago I had come to what I thought was the end of expansion. My seventh pregnancy, two living children, and one more heartache had left me feeling as though my family was set. Today we are blessed to be completing our first trimester with a beautiful new soul. This has not been an easy journey, for we lost it’s twin just weeks after finding out we were pregnant, and everyday has brought a balance between fear and joy that keeps us on our toes. We have hope, and that hope is what will see us through.

I stepped away from the world for these past few months, and until recently I did not realize how much I had missed the women of this blogging community whose daily words, thoughts and prayers have certainly seen me through. The one thing that I have valued most about this community is the ways that I have learned what is truly important in life, the small things that make my life my own.

When Julia suggested this project, it immediately felt right. We first explored the idea of friendship, for that is something that Julia and I have experienced, as many of you, through this community. We talk daily, we support one another, we have become true friends without ever so much as a hug or a face-to-face hello. But from the idea of friendship, we realized that there was a subject much more in need of exploration, and one that we both are struggling with and always seeking out in this moment; nurturing the women we are in order to be the best mothers, friends, wives, and people within the communities that we inhabit.

For those that know me, this is a subject that I have been passionate about, and that is an underlying theme in my life. This space is one to truly share the ups and downs on that journey, and to be honest for what nurturing through the tough moments, as well as the easy ones, is all about. I suppose that this is another step in communication as well, for it is just as much about hearing how others navigate this same issue, and connecting through acceptance that we all deserve the most beautiful life that we can possibly live.

For a little bit more about my family and I, please visit Shivaya Naturals


To learn more about how to join in with We Deserve This, or to simply understand what this space is all about, please follow this link.


There is even a Flickr Group

3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2010 5:56 am

    Hey Ladies, May the moments of exhalation bring you LIFE and fullness in the midst of the journey laid out before you. I am sure this will be a place of enrichment for many. May the journey bring you joy.

  2. March 23, 2011 9:06 am

    wow! thank you both SO MUCH for sharing & learning & coming back from the brink. i too have made the journey & am here to feel it all & revel in the wonder of life 🙂 glad to have the wonderful company!


  1. :: I’m back :: | We Deserve This

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